In July of 2010, my husband and I got the shocking news that we were expecting twins (fraterna;boy/girl twins). These two new babies would be number 8 & 9 to join our family. We felt nervous, scared, excited, and so extremely blessed. Everything was going well. I was so incredibly sick and tired but I had made it through the first trimester and into my second trimester. I was very optimistic that I could make it through this pregnancy with two healthy little bundles of love as an end reward for all my hard work. That was my plan anyway.
Unfortunately, my plan was not the same as Heavenly Father's plan for our family. At my 16 week check-up, during a routine ultrasound we were told that one of our twins no longer had a heartbeat. Right then, everything changed. One of our precious children were taken from us. Our twins were separated before they were even born. Our hearts were broken....broken for ourselves, broken for our children, and broken for our two little babies that would not grow up together.
I had the sweet opportunity to carry both babies with me until our surviving twin was ready to be born. That was not always an easy thought for me, but really in the end I am so grateful for that time with Zachary. Even though I know his spirit was no longer with his body, I cherish the little extra time we had together before our earthly good-byes.
The process of grieving is one that I never knew before. I didn't know what it felt like to have a piece of my heart ripped out or to hurt so bad that words could not accurately describe the pain. I didn't know if I could endure the roller-coaster ride we were thrown on to without our consent. So many times before the ride slowed to a stop I wanted to scream..."Let me off...I can't do this anymore" only to have the ride pickup speed and start all over again. The process of grieving really is a process, it takes time, and it hurts. I wanted to share Zachary's story so others out there who's heart are broken will know that they are not alone.
Even though losing our son, Zachary, is truly the hardest thing I have ever endured I know he is not lost. I know family relationships endure even after this life. Zachary's spirit lives and I will be with my son again. If you'd like to know more about how families can be together forever click HERE.
I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who always gives me what I need rather than what I want. He is a perfect Father with a perfect love. I am also eternally grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is my redeemer. Through Him all things will be made whole.
Below are links to a few of my past posts written during my journey of healing and grieving. My hope is that they might help others with a heavy or broken heart find peace and healing.
Family Pictures
24 weeks
How's it going?
A Pregnancy Update
36 Weeks
38 Weeks
Aftyn is 2 Weeks Old
Zachary's BIRTH-day
Zach's Tree
Remembering Zachary-Memorial Day 2011
Last Year at This Time
The Fruits of My Labors
365 Days Ago
Oh, Heart Be Still
Also, here are some links to other Angel Babies...
Latter-day Keepsakes-Angel babies
Angel Mac
Angel Bennett
Angel Molly
Unfortunately, my plan was not the same as Heavenly Father's plan for our family. At my 16 week check-up, during a routine ultrasound we were told that one of our twins no longer had a heartbeat. Right then, everything changed. One of our precious children were taken from us. Our twins were separated before they were even born. Our hearts were broken....broken for ourselves, broken for our children, and broken for our two little babies that would not grow up together.
I had the sweet opportunity to carry both babies with me until our surviving twin was ready to be born. That was not always an easy thought for me, but really in the end I am so grateful for that time with Zachary. Even though I know his spirit was no longer with his body, I cherish the little extra time we had together before our earthly good-byes.
The process of grieving is one that I never knew before. I didn't know what it felt like to have a piece of my heart ripped out or to hurt so bad that words could not accurately describe the pain. I didn't know if I could endure the roller-coaster ride we were thrown on to without our consent. So many times before the ride slowed to a stop I wanted to scream..."Let me off...I can't do this anymore" only to have the ride pickup speed and start all over again. The process of grieving really is a process, it takes time, and it hurts. I wanted to share Zachary's story so others out there who's heart are broken will know that they are not alone.
Even though losing our son, Zachary, is truly the hardest thing I have ever endured I know he is not lost. I know family relationships endure even after this life. Zachary's spirit lives and I will be with my son again. If you'd like to know more about how families can be together forever click HERE.
I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who always gives me what I need rather than what I want. He is a perfect Father with a perfect love. I am also eternally grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is my redeemer. Through Him all things will be made whole.
Below are links to a few of my past posts written during my journey of healing and grieving. My hope is that they might help others with a heavy or broken heart find peace and healing.
Family Pictures
24 weeks
How's it going?
A Pregnancy Update
36 Weeks
38 Weeks
Aftyn is 2 Weeks Old
Zachary's BIRTH-day
Zach's Tree
Remembering Zachary-Memorial Day 2011
Last Year at This Time
The Fruits of My Labors
365 Days Ago
Oh, Heart Be Still
Also, here are some links to other Angel Babies...
Latter-day Keepsakes-Angel babies
Angel Mac
Angel Bennett
Angel Molly
