1/2 BIRTHDAY!

Today Aftyn is 6 months old.

WOW!

6 months already.

My little love!



Big Hair No Longer an Option, It's a Necessity

Can you see why?

She's taller! My 12 year old is taller than me. I gave myself extra poofy hair but it didn't work.

This is what I think of that...

Stop! I forbid you to grow anymore. This is no good.

Okay, just kidding. I was a little dumbfounded when I realized I was looking eye to eye with her the other day and then even more dumbfounded when I measured her and realized she is an inch taller than me. I better get used to the idea because I know she's not done growing yet. It makes me feel old.

Speaking of feeling old....Sydney is going to be a teenager next month. Yikes!

Stewart Falls With the Kids

For Pioneer Day we decided to go on our own family trek. We took the kids on the same hike up Stewart Falls that Ken and I did a few days earlier.

It is a pretty nice family hike as far as hiking goes. There were a lot of people on the trail so many times we had to stop and let other groups pass us. In some spots the trail isn't big enough for coming and going traffic, but everyone was courteous and we all enjoyed being outside and enjoying the beautiful day.

We brought a picnic lunch to eat on the trail/water tower.

I was a little nervous about how the little ones would do but they were little troopers. We did have to pick them up and carry them a few times but mostly it was to speed things up in some parts. Ken, Sydney, Tyler, and I each took our turn with a child riding on our backs, Ken at one point was carrying both Daric and McKenna. But for the most part they walked and did a super great job of trekking along all by themselves.

Emma fell a couple of times on the trail, the last time she cried and refused to get up, that is until she saw a bug next to her and flew off the ground in a hurry. I couldn't help but be grateful for that little green bug. :)



Thank You

I wanted to thank those of you that left comments on my "Last Year" post.

I so appreciate the love and support I feel from you.

I try to be strong and positive as much as possible, but when I am struggling it helps me so much to write down my feelings. Almost instantly it gives me a better perspective and I can begin to put myself back together. Knowing that I have friends that love me and care about me also helps me more than I can express.

*TO  PAM: (she is my friends mother) I have thought of you many times over this past year and have wanted to take the time to thank you for your many encouraging words. I'm sure you do not realize what it means to me to have a "mother" care and say kind and sympathetic words. I don't have that from my own mom and I can't explain how much it has meant to me to read your comments. On Mother's Day I thought of you. I thought about how lucky Beth is to have a loving, caring mother like you. I wanted to send you a Mother's Day card because you are a mother I admire. Just wanted you to know, and to express my thanks.

Thank you my lovely friends, you strengthen me more than you know.

Each of you are a blessing to me.

(((HUGS)))

 

A Hiking We Will Go

Last night Ken and I decided for our date night we would hike Stewart Falls.

It was gorgeous up there. And cool. And fun. It felt so good to be together, having fun, working out, and being silly.

We picnicked on the water tower then hiked to the falls and back.

Here are a few pictures of our date night adventures.

I bit his ear. Hehe. :)

Can't wait to do it again soon, next time with the kids.

It's a great family hike.

LOVE IT!

Last Year...

Last year at this time I was pregnant with twins...Two living, growing, beautiful babies.

Last year at this time I was planning a life with 9 children. Lots of diapers, sleepless nights, full arms, crazy chaos, and tons of LOVE.

Last year at the time I was SO sick, but I kept telling myself that it was all worth it because at the end of the exhaustion, the barfing, and the "all day sickness" I would have double the blessings.

Everyday I can't help but think about...LAST YEAR AT THIS TIME.

Last year on the 4th of July I sat around with my neighbors and friends chatting about our babies as the news of our "double duo" spread. This year I sat with my neighbors and friends as we talked with a new mommy expecting her own "double duo". It was like deju' vu' all over again only with a sting this time.

The ward picnic is coming soon, last year I couldn't make it because I was too sick to get off the couch. My friends took my children so they wouldn't have to miss out. This year I can go, but I won't be able to go without remembering why I couldn't go LAST YEAR.

August 30th is also coming soon.
I know this sounds crazy but I feel like I'm living last year all over again, only this time I know how it ends. In 6 more weeks I'll loose Zachary all over again. Everyday closer to that dreaded day is killing me. I've really tried hard to grieve rationally (if that is possible), and I think I've done a pretty good job. But I'm not doing so well right now. I have heard that FIRSTS are always the hardest after experiencing a loss. However, I didn't really expect this. I've gone through cycles of depression since this whole awful journey began but I'm not able to bounce back as quickly as I'd like to.
This time I think it's bigger that I can fix.
This time I think it's time to talk to someone.
This time I think it's time for THERAPY.
I don't know why that sounds like a big, ugly, scary word, but it does to me. But I think I should have done it a long time ago.

I don't think any mom should have to think about their child's death-day before they get the chance to celebrate their birth-day, but hopefully by the time the twins birthday rolls around I won't feel like climbing into a big black hole and never coming out.

(sorry for the depressing post, I tend to think out loud too much)

Summertime Fun

Eat your heart out little girls.

Check out my handsome muscle men.

I love these studly little boys.

Summertime is so much fun. (And a little exhausting I might add)

Miss McKenna posing for her camera time.

Tyler is off to Civil War Camp this week at Camp Floyd.

It's a 3 day all day camp and Tyler is loving it. He has a bit of an obsession with the army and war, especially the civil war. He reads every book he can get his hands on.

Just in case you were wondering what Aftyn will look like in 11 years here's a pretty good idea. Aftyn looks so much like Kaylie when she was a baby. So many people think Aftyn looks like Emma but really they don't know what their talking about (hehe). These two were definitely cut from the same mold. Aftyn will grow into her freckles in a few more years.

*Listen Up* I have another brilliant idea.

I'm thinking about letting my kids run around everyday all day long in their swimsuits.

It would save me lots of time, tons of money, and a lot less of this...

Maybe it's not my greatest idea, but I'm considering it.

Laundry is a BEAST.

Okay, on to happier thoughts.

Aftyn...

Aftyn is a happy thought.

Check out these sweet little bath time videos.

(most of you know by now I sound a bit annoying when I'm talking to my babies...ignore me, and enjoy the adorable baby)

This time she is a little less camera shy.

 

Called to Serve

Elder Scott has been called to serve in the...



Mexico, Mexico city, South East Mission.

Josh is my second nephew to recently receive his mission call. As a family we are super proud of him and excited for this opportunity he has to serve the Lord as a full-time missionary.

Way to go, Josh!!!

Thank you for your wonderful example and for giving my little boys someone to look up to. (literally) ;)

Also, my oldest nephew, Porter, received his mission call a few months ago and will enter the MTC next month to serve in the Independence, Missouri Mission. (I'm sort of jealous, I would love to serve there, maybe when Ken and I are old and gray.)

I couldn't be more happy and proud of these two young men.

Both of you will be in our constant thoughts and prayers.



  

4th of July Festivities

Celebrating our countries independence yesterday was a great family day of fun.

After Ken and the kids along with the boy scouts set up flags throughout the neighborhood we headed down to Provo to watch the parade with Tami and Darren.

I didn't get any pictures but it was lots of fun. 

We came home and while deciding what we wanted to do the rest of the day we ended up pulling out a stump in the backyard that Ken and the boys have been working on for a while now. Now we can move on to yet another stump. Yard work never ends, good thing we all enjoy working together.

We thought about hiking Stewart Falls but instead decided to take a drive to Cascade Springs (thanks Ruth for your last blog post, you were my inspiration :))

We had a nice drive up the canyon and walk around the springs. The kids enjoyed counting butterflies and spending time in the "wild life" as Todd put it. All was well and good until Daric got car sick and puked all over himself. Luckily we were headed out of the canyon and he quickly fell asleep. We got back into Orem just in time to collect flags again with the scouts.

We had plans to go to our neighbors for a BBQ and the traditional "cult-a-sac of fire" as a family, but Ken and I were pretty thrashed from the day and I wasn't exactly looking forward to wrestling a few of my children all night so I cheated a little and we went in shifts. I fed the kids at home then put the two youngest to bed. I didn't want to miss socializing with friends and the older kids didn't want to miss the fireworks, so Ken,I and the middle age kids went for the first shift, then we came home so the older kids could go watch the fireworks. Todd was SO disappointed that he couldn't stay and it was kind of breaking my heart, but again we got lucky because some closer neighbors were lighting off  huge fireworks. We sat out on the porch in the rain and watched the fireworks explode right above us. It was very cool. And it kept a little boys spirits from being crushed, which made me a happy mama.

We had a super 4th of July, hope you did to!!!

Oh, the Memories...

Do these mean anything to you?

They do to me.

These bottles represent one of my fondest childhood memories.

On the side of our house was a shed where my parents would put all the empty pop cans and bottles for recycling. That shed was like a kids treasure chest and the pop bottles were our gold coins.

In Portland pop cans were worth .5 cents and pop bottles were worth a whopping .10 cents which as a kid seemed like a fortune. 

We didn't have pop bottles all the time so when we did it was a real treat. My brothers and I would ask my mom if  we could walk down to the candy store. Think it was really called "Cindy's Mini Mart" but we always called it the candy store. The store was about 4 or 5 blocks from our house. I'm not sure why but I always felt like such a big kid walking down the street to the candy store. Almost like I had gotten permission to do something naughty that I shouldn't be doing but was excited to do it anyway. Or maybe I just thrilled in the thought that my mom thought we were big enough to go by ourselves. We walked the same distance to school by our selves each day, but in the opposite direction. There was something both exciting and scary about the route to the candy store.

If we were granted permission, which many times required a lot of persistent begging, we would gather .50 cent each worth of recyclable treasure. If I had to take .50 cents worth of cans that was okay, but if I was lucky enough to find 5 bottles then I would feel down right giddy.

When we got to the candy store we would cash in our treasure by placing our cans/bottles in the shopping cart that was always parked next to the cashier. He never actually gave us the money because he knew we were headed straight for the candy isle. He would just keep track of what he owed us which was never a hard task it was always the same. Always .50 cents. We never had to worry about sales tax, because there never was any. We could spend every last penny on candy.

We would spend what seemed like an eternity looking over the same candy that always graced the shelves of the mini-mart, but this was an important decision not to be taken likely. Even though we spent the entire walk to the store thinking about which spoils we would return home with it was never an easy choice once we actually entered the store.

Almost always the cheaper candies would win out over the larger candy bars. You could by a candy bar and go home with one thing, if it wasn't already gone by the time you got home, or you could by lots of smaller candy and make them last longer. That was nearly always my game plan.

Jolly rancher sticks, lemon heads, and penny gum were usually my top picks.

I love this memory. I love the good old candy store. I love that Pepsi started making these glass bottles again (although they are not exactly the same) so that I could remember this fond childhood memory. Good times!