"Not My Will, But Thine"

I often wonder if I am strong enough to always accept the Lords will for me...and simply say, "Thy will be done".

Today was one of those days.

Today, I attended a funeral. It was not for someone who had lived a good full life and was now rewarded by a timely passing. It was for a young mother. She left behind her eternal companion, and four small children. In early July, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She was given 6-12 months to live. Her life was taken in less than 2 short months. This was not a disease for a woman in her 30's, it is an old mans cancer.

So, WHY?

I don't know, why. But, I do know that our Father in Heaven does. I have perfect faith that He knows what is best for Alicia and her young family. It was sad to say goodbye to Alisha today. It was even harder to see those that she left behind, for they have the harder trials ahead of them.

It is not hard for me to put myself in Alicia's shoes. We were just about the same age. So, through this process, I've asked myself could I do it? Could I know that I would die...leaving my husband, and my babies...and still say, "Not my will, but Thine be done". Could I bear to lose my eternal companion or my dear children, and say, it's okay, I trust in Thee. Would my faith be shaken? I don't know. I hope not, but I pray I will never have to find out. For right now my heart goes out to a family in Payson, who now has to learn to live without a huge piece of their world, their wife and mother...the one that loved them the best.

What a blessing it is the know about Heavenly Father's eternal plan for His children. Sometimes, life just doesn't seem fair, but there is One who knows whats best for us, and He will never leave us alone.

Toddy's First Day of School

Today was Todd's first day of pre-school at Westmore Elementary.

Here's the little guy walking to school. I just about had to jog to keep up. He was very excited to get there.

One last wave to mom. Actually, I had to make him wave. He didn't care to say good-bye, he had no problem leaving mom and dad. He know big adventures were waiting just beyond that big metal door.

This year I moved Todd from Vineyard's Spec. Ed. pre-school where he has attended for the past two years, two days a week. He now goes to the same school with the other kids. It is a 5 day a week title 1 pre-school. Not a special ed, we wanted him to have more opportunity to be with peers without speech delay. He will still meet with his speech therapist two days a week before school. And we are looking into more private therapy.

He had an appt. at Primary Children's Hospital a few weeks ago. We did a scope to look at his palate. It was looking so good. He had complete closure, which is FAR better than last year before his surgery. So the doctors feel that no more surgery is needed, just lots of speech therapy to work on articulation.

Todd is improving and trying very hard. His greatest improvement at this point is in his behavior. He is doing so well at cooperating. Not everything is a fight, he seems to be understanding and communicating better, and it is showing in his behavior. I am thrilled!

Looking Back...

Eleven years ago today I was eating dinner at my sister's home. It was a Sunday evening, just like tonight. I had just finished eating some of her scrumptious roast. After dinner I remember saying, "Hmmm, I think I might be having contractions". But, really the thought was too good to be true, for our first little one was already a week overdue in making her appearance into this world. I began to think it would never really happen, I would just stay pregnant indefinitely. So, thoughts of labor were soon forgotten. Until...

Watching a movie a few hours later I felt the sudden urge to pee,  or so I thought. I raced out of my chair and into the bathroom. I didn't make it far enough before the dam broke. I began to yell for my sister or for Ken, but I guess everyone thought it was time for a snack break. Finally my little nephew popped his head into the bathroom. Please, go get your mom and Uncle Ken, I said. When they showed up in the bathroom staring at me, I explained that my water broke. My sister hooped and hollered, "Whew-wee...Tonight we're having a baby"!

Well, that wasn't exactly true. We were having a baby, but not that night. However, at least we were on our way to the hospital and there was an end in sight. It was 24 hrs. later. Sydney was born on Monday evening August 24, 1998. She weighed 8lbs. and she was beautiful.

Ken and I were so excited! And so scared! We were young, and although I thought I was completely prepared I soon found out that I had so much to learn. (Still do!) On the evening that Sydney came home from the hospital Ken and I both sat on our bed and cried. We were already so tired. Now we had a baby to take care of, and no nursery full of nurses to send her to when she cried. This was the beginning of a whole new world for us. After surviving that first night of..."Oh, No...what do we do now?!" We have never looked back, never regretted. What a blessing Sydney has been, as well as the six others that have followed in their big sisters footsteps.

Tomorrow my baby will turn 11. This will be my last year before she turns into a young women. She is growing so fast. I am proud of who she is. And I am excited for who she will become.

Happy Birthday, baby girl. You are a precious daughter of God, and on top of that you are sweet, and beautiful, and precious to me. Mommy loves you tons!

First Day Of School!

Today was the first day of school for the 4 oldest kids. Todd will start pre-school next week.

Tyler is 8 and in the 3rd grade this year.

Kaylie is 9 and in the 4th grade.

Sydney is 10 for 4 more days and she is in 6th grade. This is her last year before Jr. High. Scary!

Emma is 6 and in 1st grade. Sometimes it hard for me to believe she is only 6, but today I'm having a hard time thinking she's old enough to be in school all day. Oh, they grow up fast.

Everyone had a great first day. I think this will be a good year for all of them.
I am excited to be back on a schedule. Summer was fun, but fall sounds lovely right now.