Ken and I were invited to dinner to celebrate a friends birthday. Babysitters on Monday night in Happy Valley are sort-of hard to come by so, my only hope of getting a baby sitter was asking the friend who invited us to spare one of her daughters. Which she did. And I was grateful. I wanted to make it as easy a night as possible since I know most 16 year olds have better things to do and she probably just agreed to come as a favor to her mom. I had both McKenna and Todd in bed before she arrived at 6:15. The older 'good' kids were supposed to play nicely together until 7:30, then they would go to bed to read, then lights out at 8:30. Simple, no big deal. That's not exactly what happened...Before we left Todd was up, and McKenna was crying. Still, no big deal, the older kids will be good, they will help out, she'll be fine, I thought. So, we left.
We had a great time at dinner with our friends. We got home just after 8:30. Todd was still awake (as I figured he would be, because he's a monster!) But, what I didn't expect was that three out of our four older 'good' kids were awful. When I asked the babysitter how they were I couldn't tell if she was on the verge of tears or just really ticked. She told me they were out of control and she just sent them all to bed, before 7:30! My kids didn't even last an hour! I was horrified. After driving our exhausted sitter home, I pulled our three oldest out of bed and asked them to explain.
Sydney began by telling me that her and Tyler were beating each other up. Tyler started it (probably trying to show off) so Sydney retaliated until it was a knock down drag out. Kaylie decided to play the piano very loudly and instead of sitting up during a card game she lay down then began kicking Sydney when she got in the way, Kaylie explained. Tyler had little to say for himself, except he just didn't know why he acted that way. I know there was more to the fiasco but am lacking in some details. That still doesn't account for Todd or Mckenna which I'm sure was no easy task. But, apparently, Emma was pretty good.
Ken and I lectured them for at least 1/2 an hour on; how disappointed we were, how we expect better from them, how our sitter didn't really want to be hear, she was just being kind, how they better knock it off and make better choices, so on and so on.
These were their consequences.... I made them pay me the $12 dollars that I paid the sitter. They had to write an apology letter as soon as they got home from school the next day. For those of you that think we are harsh. Let me just tell you, they had fair warning. Some people say... 'Kids will be Kids', well fine, but mine better be good ones.
A few minutes after we sent them back to bed I went down to tell them I loved them and to change the laundry. On my way back up the stairs I could hear each of them sobbing. It was that heart wrenching 'your a terrible parent' kind of sob.
Ken and I felt sick. We wanted to go down and comfort them, but knew they just had to suffer the consequences. We all had a miserable night. That old saying "this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you" may be true. It hurts, when your kids hurt. Even when you are trying to teach them a lesson, some parenting moments stink.
I have my fingers crossed that next time we have a babysitter they are going to think twice about misbehaving. We'll see. Here is a picture of their apology letters....
5 comments:
Making your kids take responsibility for being disopediant isn't bad parenting. But I do agree, when you know they're hurting, it does hurt. I'm so glad that we're not the only ones that seem "mean" to our kids when they've had warning. I feel for you. You and Ken are awesome parents. Your kids can't be perfect always. You know you could have called us. I would have loved to have sat down there without mine :)
Wow! I was thinking of having 6 kids but I think I had better stick to four. lol
Your kids are great kids who made some not so great choices that night. Your discipline was not harsh. It was a good example of making the punishment fit the crime. It hurts so much when you punish your kids because you know they are good kids and you want them to know how much you love them by holding them, so it hurts when you can't. They do still love you though. Before long they will be telling you how you are the greatest mom ever. Keep it up Nancy, you're doing a great job.
Umm, I think you better check those letters again, I think one starts "Dear Santa"
that is very logical and something we sould do.... Instead we just beat the crap out of them and then make them pay us. Close I guess we are just missing a few steps....were learning...thanks for being such good examples.
I failed.....
You're such good parents!
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