I'm Sorry

Have you ever thought about the power of an apology?

How is it that a few simple words spoken with sincerity can so easily mend a wounded heart?

Back when Ken and I were newlyweds the words "I'm sorry" were rarely a part of my vocabulary. I always thought I was right and therefore never the one needing to apologize. I was stubborn and prideful. I liked winning an argument more than I liked admitting my faults with an apology. Thankfully over the years I've learned the value of a what a simple humble apology can do. Pain, hurt, misunderstanding, and resentment can be lessened or entirely wiped away with these two little words...I'm sorry.

I needed to use those two little words last night.....

Before Ken and I left on our date I gave the kids specific instructions about who needed to shower that evening, and about getting to bed on time. I don't usually worry too much about bed time when Aunt Tami is watching the kids but last night Emma was especially nervous about getting a good night sleep because end of the year testing has begun.

 Upon arriving home at almost 10pm we discovered that we still had 6 of our 8 children awake. Despite Tami's best efforts to get kids asleep we still had little boys trying to make forts out of their beds and other children unable to sleep because of the noise they were making. The kids have slowing used up all of our patience this week with not listening and not following through with expectations. We were both feeling pretty fed up and irritable.

After things settled down upstairs with the younger kids, Sydney, greeted me in the front room with a friendly "hello". The first thing I noticed was that she, (being one of the ones I told to shower) had not showered. Instead of greeting her with a "hello" I  abruptly asked, "Why haven't you showered?" I saw her face fall as she tried to explain that she planned to take one in the morning. I ignored her fallen expression a went right in with a "do what I say when I tell you to" lecture and it was then reiterated with an echo from her Dad. Sydney being the respectful girl that she is did not talk back but I could tell she was hoppin' mad and that her feelings were hurt. I felt bad, but first tried to reason that she wouldn't feel bad if she would have just done as she was told. Then my own guilt caught hold of me and I realized it must have been a very unpleasant way for her to be greeted by her parents, and that she may have very unintentionally misunderstood my instructions. To make matters worse I learned that Sydney was super excited to share some awesome news with us and we pretty much crushed her before she even had a chance.

After swallowing a piece of humble pie, Ken and I went downstairs to fix some broken feelings. A was just a few seconds behind Ken, when I reached the downstairs I found Sydney sobbing in Ken's arms. Sydney's art had won some awards in the  Junior High art show that evening and she was so excited to share that news with us. It took a few minutes of humble apologizing for over reacting and being impatient before she could wipe away the tears and joyfully tell us that she had received 5 honorable mentions and 1 3rd place ribbon for her artwork.

It breaks my heart to think about if we had allowed Sydney to go to bed feeling scolded over a little misunderstanding and unable to celebrate her victory with us.

It makes me wonder how many times as a parent I miss the mark? How many times am I too quick to scold and too slow to listen? How many times could I have healed a wounded heart by simply saying, I'm sorry.

There is power is those words.

HUGE POWER.